By Jane Carver

Because the repairs and cooperation between the Ancadians and the Cabrillans went well, Captain Merlo invited several Cabrillan ship builders and several prominent Ancadians to dine with him. The captain’s cabin being too small for all invited, tables were set up in the large dining area below deck. The passengers and crew dined before the visitors arrived.

Mr. Honess, Domas, Zamour and Spoors met the guests at the plank and escorted them below deck. Gambrel and Vangee stood near Captain Merlo.

“You are discomforted.” Vangee laid her fingers on his arm. Though he wore his leathers and coat, his weapons lay secured in the captain’s cabin once again. Despite being disarmed however, he still looked like a person not to be approached.

“I am uneasy,” he agreed. “Perhaps for no good reason. Old habits die a slow death even among friends. Many come this eventide I do not know. Crowds always make me suspicious.”

“Nothing threatens us, ‘Brel.”

Vangee’s words no sooner left her mouth than he froze, the muscles beneath her fingers going rock hard. He took on instinctive step forward. Hands went automatically inside his coat, seeking a weapon.

“What is it? Tension…hate…fills the air like the smell of hot spice.” Being a Radiant, she picked up the emotions and narrowed them down to her husband.

Gambrel refused to answer her. He glared at the man entering the room, a man he saw earlier, a man with a pronounced limp. “Handid!” Soft beneath his breath, he uttered the name of his worst enemy. Only Vangee’s hand on his arm and the sound of distress in her voice kept him in one place. The desire to kill the man almost choked him. His body strained toward the other. Hands clinched into white-knuckled fists hung impotent at his side and twitched in a suppressed desire for action. Nostrils flared, seeking the smell of the air, searching for the awareness of Haggin.

“’Brel, you scare me. Please. Let us leave this place.” Vangee tugged his arm then pulled harder when he refused to look at her. Giving one last hard tug, she managed to get his gaze back on her. By then, Pessios and Canfanto flanked the pair.

“Perhaps, Mistress Sarjean, he should excuse himself from the captain’s table this even.”

Around him, Gambrel heard conversation. Heard his name. But he saw no one but Haggin as he and his mate approached their position. The man had not seen him yet. For the sake of his trap, a retreat at this time might be best. But leaving him alive seemed wrong.

Before he, Vangee, Pessios and Canfanto left, Haggin spotted the enforcer. The man literally stumbled to a halt. All color drained from his face. His mate winced at his tight grip for she yanked her arm free. No sound passed his lips, but he mouthed the word “Sarjean”.

Gambrel stared angrily at Haggin, his eyes urging the man closer. Despite what he wanted, two smaller men and one woman herded him away, testimony to his state of mind.

As the group neared the hatch to their cabin, he shook off Vangee and powered forward passed his friends. “Enough!” One massive hand slashed the air between them. “I am going…but on my own. I need no one’s help.” Ducking his head and dipping one shoulder, he took the stairs. The cabin door slammed, the others still on deck.

* * * *

“’Brel? May I come in?”

Silence answered Vangee. Her mate contemplated the lights in the harbor. When he did not speak, she entered and closed the door with deliberate care. She stood beside him, shoulder to shoulder, like they had done so many times.

For the first time, Gambrel sensed she read emotions rather than manipulate them.

“I detect violence, hate. Why? What is in your heart that you hide from me?” Her words echoed with strength and concern but not the whining of one who is scared.

He would have walked away, but she grabbed his arm and held him to her side. “Speak to me. Why my mate seeks the death of one he has never met? Why did Gastrojan and his friends smile when you left? Why did they seek out this man you loathe?”

Her words caught Gambrel’s attention. “Gastrojan sought out Haggin?” His mind raced. Were the men acquainted? From the far past? Or the recent on Ancade?

“I care nothing of Gastrojan’s intent, but I will learn of yours.” Vangee did not address him with the shortened endearment she used when comfortable. “You know this man.” Her words reflected thought and stated fact.

“Yes.”

“From where?”

“Better you do not get involved.” Danger awaited her. What the fick, he thought. Danger swirled around him all his life. Xantis and Lindan died because of what he did. Vangee and others here might suffer if he shared his past now. But his soul shattered when his lovely wife embraced him and laid her head over his chest, above the heavy pounding of his heart.

“I became involved, ‘Brel, the minute I met you…the minute I loved you.” She squeezed him. “Do not shut me out now.”

“Ah, Vangee, your sweet nature can not conceive of what I have been, will become again.” He ran one hand over her purple hair, calming the riot of curls. “I am dangerous. To men like Haggin. To you and others who come near me.” His kiss on her forehead felt like a parting. Untangling her arms from his waist, he walked across the room. “I must speak with Captain Merlo when the guests leave. I depart not too long after them.”

“You will follow this man…Haggin.” Vangee read his thoughts almost as well as Pessios. He nodded but added nothing.

“Do you love me?”

Here it comes. She will ask him to forgo his vengeance out of respect for their devotion. The two driving forces of his life—diametrically opposed. And she would ask him to give up one for the other.

“I love you with my life. You already know this.” The truth tore at Gambrel’s heart. She wanted his declaration again though she knew it to the bottom of her soul.

“Yet you would lay aside this love for your hate.” She was thinking aloud. “Who did you treasure so in the past that your heart still aches for justice?”

His head turned with a jerk. How like her, a Radiant attuned to emotions, to pick up on the problem.

Because he loved her and anticipated death now that Haggin knew him near, he gave in. He must clear his mind of agitation so Vangee would not follow him.

He needed to tell her of his past.

“Come. Sit.” He pulled two chairs from the table and set them face-to-face. Leaning his elbows on his knees, he took both of her hands in his. How soft her skin. How troubled her eyes, the color so dark now it looked black. Her tension manifested itself in the way she bit her bottom lip.

“I married as a young man. Xantis and I loved the idea of being in love, but I think we were comfortable living together without a true commitment.” His gaze never left hers. “Our daughter was the joy of our lives. My heart bled each time I left. Many full lights might pass before I saw them again. I was not around much as my child, Lindan, grew up. Yet we loved each other with a caring so great I knew nothing like it until I loved you.” His declaration drew no smile from his mate.

“Xantis wanted few things in life. She often said, ‘I want to tend my home, love my husband, and watch children blossom around my skirts.’ I have never forgotten her words. While I worked, Xantis suffered an accident in the market. She died and left me with Lindan, older than Dara is now and just as sweet. We grew closer.”

Now came the hard part. “I earned my coins as an enforcer, Vangee.” When she said nothing, he assumed the term unfamiliar. “I killed men for a living. An assassin, a man hired to go out and kill another with no more feelings than you close a door.” Gambrel pumped her hands several times in order to get a reaction, but she sat, silent and still, her eyes never leaving his. He wished he read minds for he wondered what his mate was thinking.

“Because of my work, I made enemies. I tried not to leave anything hanging from one job to another, but family or business associates sometimes sought to right the supposed wrong I inflicted. One such man was Handid. I killed his brother, an evil man who captured innocents and sold them into slavery. I did not know at the time Handid was part of the operation. I thought him into other less lucrative projects. A crime manager paid me to kill Jorgus, the brother. I cleaned up the mess, returned home, and forgot about the man. That’s the way it worked. No one knew where I lived. No one suspected what I did. I took trips and came home. Xantis never complained. That’s all I’ve ever done. I grew up in the killing business. Lindan never knew, and I never wanted her to find out.”

“I returned home each day at a certain hour of the eventide, to be there for my daughter. Handid discovered this pattern. An enforcer should never establish a set way of doing anything. But I did. And I paid for it.”

Words stuck in his throat. Tears filled his eyes though they hung from his lashes without falling. He did not speak. Laying his forehead in Vangee’s palms, he continued, “I pieced it together after the deed was done. After my Lindan died.”

One of her hands escaped his. Her fingers swept through his hair over and again, her efforts to comfort him unspoken.

“Handid and his men—fifteen in all—broke into our home and tied up Lindan. They must have spoken freely in front of her. A bright girl of ten seasons by then, she figured out what they planned—wait for my approach and kill me. Lindan gave them trouble because they attached a phaser to her head to keep her quiet. She worked the weapon around under her chin while they waited for me. When I came into the green, the men said so and that’s when she did it.” The tears finally fell.

“Tell me, ‘Brel.”

“She triggered the phaser, setting up a thunderous noise and flash. She warned me…with her death. A firefight broke out, and men died, but not all.”

Vangee pulled him forward until his head and shoulders lay in her lap, his arms wrapped around her middle. “Finish it.”

“I buried my daughter and tracked down men who knew about the ambush. Then with great deliberation, I set out to kill them all.” Gambrel’s voice hardened, sounded like steel, as he finished. He kissed Vangee’s palm then sat up. Letting go of her hands, he sat as still as she. “Handid is known as Haggin on Ancade. He is the last, the one who organized the ambush. I will kill him. Then it is over.” Before Vangee could speak, he added, “I love you with my whole being, but you can not dissuade me from my goal. You will not love me for this, and I do not fault you for that.” He sighed and stood. “I will leave the Fenix here and never bother you again.” His words shook his entire world but he spoke them with a heavy but calm heart.

“You did it again!” Vangee’s anger flooded the room. He flinched, expecting her rage but not those particular words. In a flash, she ran across the room and grabbed his arm so firmly that he spun around.

“I know you’re disappointed in me. I know this is not what you expected in a mate.” Gambrel stood straighter and looked her in the eyes. “But this is who I am. If I do not honor my word to Lindan then I am not the father she loved.”

Delivering an unexpected hard thump to his chest, Vangee repeated herself in tones loud enough to be heard beyond their cabin. “You did it again!” She propped her fists on her hipbones. What was she waiting for? Some magical light of understanding to come on in his head?

A frown furrowed Gambrel’s forehead. Both arms crossed his chest. What the fick was the woman talking about? Did what again? A face-off ensued. Neither spoke. She wore a smug look while he tried to remember every conversation they’d ever had.

A mental bolt of brilliance did hit him!

“Once before I did your thinking.” He grinned. “I thought you would not love me. I even told you so. You got so angry you didn’t speak to me.” One thick hand rubbed his bristly chin. “You don’t like me thinking for you.” His grin spread. “I did it again, didn’t I?”

She rolled her eyes and gave an indelicate snort. “I would say that’s true words.”

His stance now relaxed, his arms hung loose. He waited for her to finish.

“Don’t think for me because you thought wrong. I did love you when you thought I wouldn’t. Now you think I condemn you for your past and a promise made to a loved one. I am a woman and made of softer emotions, ‘Brel, but even I cannot love the man I see before me without accepting what made him the person he is. If I withhold my love, you will not be that man. If I condemn you, you will not be that man. I will not question you on the subject of Haggin. Do what must be done and return to me, a man healed of his hatred.”

“You would do this for me? Let me finish the journey I began?”

When she nodded, Gambrel found it hard to believe. His heart swelled with love, more than ever before in his life. “Vangee.” Stepping forward, he pulled his mate into his embrace, a tight but tender one. The moment lay too precious for more than that.